Emotions

So these last few days have been a wave of emotions, both good and bad

• Last weekend (August 19th,) Keegan, our friend Brendan, and I went to a one day music festival in Atlanta Georgia, about 5 hours away. It was a lot of fun, even though it was horribly hot  (I'm pretty sure I got heat stroke, or at least a severe case of dehydration,) but it made me realize how much I really miss my friends from back home. 
• On that same note, I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo excited that for Labor Day, Keegan and I are going to St. Louis to visit almost all of our friends from Rolla (Keegan's school.) One of his friends decided to fly in for the weekend from California to visit his wife who is doing some work for AmeriCor in a city a few hours away and decided to try and get the old group back together. Besides him, we're going to be traveling the farthest since everyone else is still living in Missouri or Illinois, but it will totally be worth the drive. We're going to go to the zoo which I haven't been to since elementary school and stay all together in a hotel so I'm sure shenanigans will be had. I don't even have to feel bad about not having his parents come down because they were the ones that decided they had too much to do that weekend and they didn't want to come down that weekend. That means that we get to see our friends during Labor Day and his parents a different weekend. Almost like having your cake and eating it too!
•  Unfortunately today my car decided to overheat when I was driving to work. Already we've had to replace the starter in this car (about $500 worth of work) and I've only had the car 3 months. My Ford Focus, the car I had before this one, had the radiator explode all of a sudden, so I was afraid that was what was going to happen as I was driving 70 mph down the highway. I made it safely to work, and surprisingly back home without trouble, however. When Keegan got home from work, he looked it over, took it for a drive and decided he didn't know what could be wrong. It starts overheating when we go slower, faster, stop, start, have the AC on, off, high, low, all kinds of things. There are no symptoms that point to one problem or another, so I guess I'm just going to drive it until something else happens, or it dies and we have to get it towed to get it fixed. 
• I am so sick and tired of owing people money. We (well really Keegan because I'm still not getting paid from work) had to pay my college the rest of the money I owe them, I unexpectedly owed my old apartment back home money, and now I might have to get my car fixed again all in one month. Soon I will have to start paying back my student loans. I just HATE having to rely on Keegan for money. When I was in college, at one point in time I worked 3 jobs to make enough money for myself, and now that I'm not making anything and having to rely on someone else, I feel useless. I hate feeling like I can't take care of myself, like I'm not strong enough to take care of myself. I mean, I went to college, I should be able to do this right? 

I guess I just needed to write this post to get these emotions out. I'm excited about things to come, like Labor Day, but things just keep getting in the way. I really hope that my work pulls through and I get my VISTA grant so I can start getting a paycheck. If not, then I will have to find work somewhere else even though I'd hate to leave the gallery. I love where I work and I don't want to leave, but I need money. I can't and don't want to make Keegan keep paying for everything. Its just not fair.