I'm sure some of you are going, "What?! But you're a member of the female race which means you must love to shop!" Ya.....not so much. I've always considered myself to be a bigger girl, even when I was a competitive swimmer and using up more calories per day than I could shove in my face.
Of course, looking back at pictures, I was a healthy, normal-sized teenager (I'm the one in the white tank-top)
Oh what I would do for that body again....
Anyways, since I was always a bigger girl, especially after I stopped swimming, shopping for clothes has always been a pain in the butt. Shirt and tops I can normally find ok, but jeans are my nemesis. The last time I went jeans shopping was when we moved down to Mississippi and I found two pairs at WalMart that fit (and yes, that was two years ago.)
Since I've lost about 15 pounds due to the medications I've been put on for my PCOS (which you can read all about on my other blog, Baby Makin'), I noticed that I had a terrible case of saggy butt syndrome in my jeans as well as a rip in one pair that could be potentially embarrassing if it gets any larger. Last weekend, Keegan and I were planning on driving to the next biggest town that has a Target, so I figured I'd do some quick jeans shopping.
While in Target, I grabbed two pairs of jeans, one in my current size, and one in the next size down. Going into the fitting room, I had a vision of slipping the jeans in my current size one, realizing they were way too big and being able to fit in the next smallest size, or even better, two sizes down! I mean, I had lost 15 pounds, that must count for something, right?
That plan went down in flames when I tried to put on the jeans in my current size and I couldn't get them up past my thighs. After that, I was done. I quickly put on my old jeans, walked out of the dressing room and put the jeans back on the rack. Keegan asked me how it went and I told him the jeans were too expensive.
In my head, I knew that brands fit differently. I knew that the trend these days are for girls to wear skin tight jeans (not my personal style.) I knew that I was trying to squeeze myself into a pair of Levi's and if I just tried on a different brand, I would probably find some that fit, but I was done. All the emotions from years past of trying on pair after pair of jeans and finding nothing came flooding back and I felt like the 15 pounds I had lost had been for nothing.
What's funny is I ordered a couple of shirts and a pair of PJ pants from Old Navy during their Cyber Monday sale at my current size, but they're all huge on me! This was the kick in the pants that I needed to prove to myself that my weight loss has been a positive thing and something to continue working on. It also proves that each and every brand will fit differently. (By the way, I think us girls should band together and make clothes manufacturers give us some consistency in clothing sizes. Anyone else agree?)
Unfortunately my jeans that had a rip in them have gotten worse by the day, so it looks like I'm going to have to put on my big-girl pants on and head over to WalMart to try and find another pair this weekend. Going to WalMart two weeks before Christmas probably isn't the smartest idea, but the only other store in my small Mississippi town is Belk, and I feel like they're ridiculously over priced. I'm just going to struggle through, find a pair of jeans that fits no matter the size, just to hold me over until I'm done with this weight loss thing.
I've made a promise to myself to stop focusing on the size of my clothing and focus more on how my clothing fits. Shirts that were once too tight on me have become looser. I have saggy butt syndrome in my jeans. Things like this make me realize how much weight I have lost and are the push I need to continue doing so.
Maybe one day I'll enjoy shopping for clothes.
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